“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.(page 49)”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
I am a declarer, a starter, a goal setter, a wanna be a socially networked, literate, super human educator.
However...
I run from discipline. I procrastinate. I perseverate. I think and plan more than I produce.
I declared to be the #1000giftsofsummer blogger who would document every day's gifts in photos over the entire summer.
Yes I did.
Three days of great photos, several days pass, and then I'm so many days out of the new blogging routine, I'm onto creating a mosaic of June photographs with zero writing to go with the pictures.
I'm grateful for the gifts of summer, but I'm so over photographing and blogging about them on July 2.
I started the Couch to 5K routine (for the 5th time this year). On the outside I am new running shoes and the Nike Fuel Band and the tracker of calories on My Fitness Pal app.
But underneath I'm the resort to eating baking chocolate because there's nothing sweet in the house,
the I'll start tomorrow because I'm already at 3,200 calories after the frozen margarita with salt and a basket of chips
and by the way....my running shoes gave me a huge heel blister.
I set the goal to work all of June on workshops, book writing, presentations, and new school year preparation... and then have July to relax, not set a morning alarm, do exactly as I pleased in this fantastic summer month.
Great goal. Great big fat unrealistic goal.
I meet with my new fourth grade team in exactly one month, and I have thirty unread fourth grade novels stacked in my bedroom, a reading, writing, math, science, social studies, and word study curriculum to read and learn, writing to finish, and four workshops to create. All before school starts on August 7th.
Socially networked. I'm 90% stalking and retweeting the social media gurus who've already done the hard work.
Literate. Sometimes I click "read" on Goodreads even if I'm only on page 18.
Super Human. What does that even mean?
What I've realized as I write this post is this:
I am not great at blogging regularly, exercising daily, working responsibly, or even living realistically.
But I am passionate, reflective, honest, growing, hardworking when I want to be (at the very last second), and loved. I've learned that being me is the best person I can be. I'm thankful to have strengths that I can use and share with family, friends, colleagues, and strangers. I'm also thankful for the struggles that I can be so very okay with admitting.
Happy Summer Everyone!
Authentically yours,
Ann Marie
I am giving you a standing ovation for this post all the way from central Illinois - hope you can hear the whoops and applause. I'm right there with you - often. Great intentions don't always equal results. I meant to jump off the computer after about 1/2 hour today and write. I've been on the computer for three hours instead and am off to an appointment. I do the best I can and try to get better each day, which is all anyone can do. Hope to see you soon, would love to talk in person. :)
ReplyDeleteKatherine--thank you so much for your post. You inspire me all the time with what you write, are reading, and how you are empowering kids and teachers to learn and grow. I'm one of those teachers who learns from you constantly! Yes, we do the best we can, and I appreciate all you do for teachers and children! Hope we can visit very soon!
DeleteHave I ever mentioned how much I adore you and your no-holds-barred honesty with a lovely Southern drawl thrown in?!!! The dilemmas and resolutions you so adroitly described have great parallels to my own. And that my friend, is why I love you! Because you are so authentic and real, and it makes the rest of us feel better. Can't wait to see you soon!
ReplyDeleteSo, my dear friend....I can't wait for that very long face to face conversation when you arrive in Alabama on August 7th! It'll be just like NCTE in Vegas at the food court (well...without the smoke and ringing of slot machines..and food court)
DeleteYou make me smile, and you inspire me with your work, your learning, your teaching....and I'm thankful that you are making the trip to share what you know with my school! love and see you very soon!
I'm with you on so many levels...including the baker's chocolate! Thanks for keeping it real for so many of us...
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind comment!.....Bakers chocolate can taste like a big, fat king sized Hershey bar if you close your eyes and pretend a bit. :)
Deleteyou forgot one....you are INSPIRING! I am so grateful for everything you share. I am one of those strangers that has learned so much from you. Thanks for being you...and for allowing me to see that we have lots in common! (But for me it's a spoonful of peanut butter covered in chocolate chips.=)
ReplyDeleteReading your post left me with this nagging feeling like I had heard something related to this topic before. I just couldn't think of what it was. Tonight I was watching a TED Talk and the speaker referred to another TED Talk about announcing your goals and how that can keep you from attaining them. That was it! So glad I remembered - more for my sake than yours - I can get rid of that nagging feeling in my brain now. Hope you can relate to this TED Talk. (I love TED Talks!) It is by Derek Sivers and is called, Keep Your Goals to Yourself. Here is the link:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself.html??utm_medium=social&source=email&utm_source=email&utm_campaign=ios-share
Love your post--- feels like yesterday we were eating burgers in Vegas. We love your honesty and authenticity. Thanks Clare and Tammy
ReplyDeleteHi Ann Marie -- I read your post at the perfect time as I'd been struggling to get past the giant To Do list in my mind. Now I've written it down and am moving forward. I wish I could blame my procrastination on the lazy days of summer but it's just me -- I mull and mull and mull before acting. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteOH my this is so me-so perfectly put into words-thank you for being so open and sharing with us your struggles-it makes me realize that I am not alone and not all bad passionate and loved Thank YOU!!!
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