“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.(page 49)”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
I am a declarer, a starter, a goal setter, a wanna be a socially networked, literate, super human educator.
I run from discipline. I procrastinate. I perseverate. I think and plan more than I produce.
I declared to be the #1000giftsofsummer blogger who would document every day's gifts in photos over the entire summer.
Yes I did.
Three days of great photos, several days pass, and then I'm so many days out of the new blogging routine, I'm onto creating a mosaic of June photographs with zero writing to go with the pictures.
I'm grateful for the gifts of summer, but I'm so over photographing and blogging about them on July 2.
I started the Couch to 5K routine (for the 5th time this year). On the outside I am new running shoes and the Nike Fuel Band and the tracker of calories on My Fitness Pal app.
But underneath I'm the resort to eating baking chocolate because there's nothing sweet in the house,
the I'll start tomorrow because I'm already at 3,200 calories after the frozen margarita with salt and a basket of chips
and by the way....my running shoes gave me a huge heel blister.
I set the goal to work all of June on workshops, book writing, presentations, and new school year preparation... and then have July to relax, not set a morning alarm, do exactly as I pleased in this fantastic summer month.
Great goal. Great big fat unrealistic goal.
I meet with my new fourth grade team in exactly one month, and I have thirty unread fourth grade novels stacked in my bedroom, a reading, writing, math, science, social studies, and word study curriculum to read and learn, writing to finish, and four workshops to create. All before school starts on August 7th.
Socially networked. I'm 90% stalking and retweeting the social media gurus who've already done the hard work.
Literate. Sometimes I click "read" on Goodreads even if I'm only on page 18.
Super Human. What does that even mean?
What I've realized as I write this post is this:
I am not great at blogging regularly, exercising daily, working responsibly, or even living realistically.
But I am passionate, reflective, honest, growing, hardworking when I want to be (at the very last second), and loved. I've learned that being me is the best person I can be. I'm thankful to have strengths that I can use and share with family, friends, colleagues, and strangers. I'm also thankful for the struggles that I can be so very okay with admitting.
Happy Summer Everyone!